I was recently in a planning type meeting when a respected colleague and friend reminded me of the stress that comes with committing to new things. His point, one which I have experienced personally and therefore resonate with deeply, was that when we’re exploring new opportunities, we can often feel overwhelmed with the stresses of adding to our already busy schedules.
This actually pointed me right to some admitted guilt that I carry in my ministry to college students. Though for different reasons than a planning meeting, I’ve often found myself unable to do “more” with them. Honestly, sometimes I feel like I’m not doing enough (whatever that means). If you’ve read the About page of this blog, then you know that ministering to young adults is one of the many wonderful complications to my job description. I work with them, in addition to working with and overseeing the other student ministries in our church. Not to mention the other things I do. Not to mention that I also have a great family and a life.
I can’t do it all. Period. I’d love to spend hours and hours on end eating pizza late into the night. I’d love to be free in a way that allows me to instantaneously drop everything and go to the beach. I’d love to generally be more available to be a part of their world. But, that’s a different guy, and God didn’t give them him; God gave them me. So instead, I need them to leave my house at a certain time so that my family and I can sleep. Instead, I usually go home after events, Bible studies or gatherings to be with my family while they go to someone’s house to watch Family Guy reruns.
I’ve learned, even with the guilt, that I can’t be that guy or do all of those things. I can only be me. If I was talking to someone who was wrestling with this same issue, I’d probably want to remind them about all of the good things that students get out of relating to a person in my life stage. So, guilt or no guilt, I’m just doing my best to believe that about myself.